By Ann Yurcek
Parents and caregivers of adult children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) may have fears about adulthood and their walkabouts of adulthood.
Our society tells our young people that you are an adult. They prepare our kids for the age of “majority” and their rights as an adult. The process of growing and stepping is what every young person wants. To be like peers, to exercise their independence, and more.
For those on the more challenged part of the FASD spectrum, society can protect and offer services like guardianship, supported decision-making, medical power of attorney, and more. But the majority of the FASD spectrum and those with hidden neurodiversity are often overlooked and will graduate into the world of adulthood without the support and the full ability to navigate a very complicated world.
The hidden support network of the structure that the family provides is paramount.
But what happens when the young adult goes on the walkabout to adulthood?
Difficulty with Change
Individuals with FASD often struggle with transitions and changes in routine. Even minor changes can be confusing and disruptive, as their brains have trouble adjusting to new situations. This difficulty adapting to change may cause parents to worry about how their adult child will handle major life transitions.
Impulsivity and Risk-Taking
Adults with FASD tend to exhibit impulsive behaviors and engage in risk-taking activities. During periods of transition or independence, these tendencies may become more pronounced, leading to concerns about the individual’s safety and decision-making.
Challenges with Independent Living
Many adults with FASD struggle with daily living skills and may require ongoing. Real math challenges of managing money are far more complicated than just typical learning for young people. Mathematical reasoning and understanding are highly affected by prenatal alcohol exposures, complicating things like paying bills, planning budgets, and more. Student loans, taxes, and more. Parents may fear their child is not fully equipped to live independently, manage finances, or care for themselves without help.
Vulnerability to Exploitation
Due to their cognitive challenges and social difficulties, individuals with FASD can be vulnerable to exploitation or manipulation by others. Parents may worry about their adult child’s safety when venturing out on their own. Our young people with FASD are very generous and also want friendships. They will give and will, at times, leave themselves without anything or in the position of taking the blame for what “their” friends have done.
Inconsistent Behavior
In this context, the term “walkabout” likely refers to periods where the individual with FASD may wander off or disappear for a time. This unpredictable behavior can cause significant stress and fear for caregivers.
Need for Structure and Supervision
Adults with FASD often benefit from consistent routines and supervision. Transitions involving less structure or oversight may concern parents who understand their child’s need for these supports.
Caregivers will find that after an adult with FASD has experienced a period of struggle, a phone call or an ask for help will come.
One important lesson I have learned with five adults with FASD is that I do not give money.
- I will always give a bus ticket back to structure and support.
- I will advocate with a court-appointed attorney and more.
- I will help them set up support systems and find safe housing.
- I will find jobs I need done in our home and on our property as they look for a job
I told my kids I would advocate if they found themselves in trouble with the law and send cookies, but I cannot afford to ‘rescue’ them from the consequences of any involvement with the law.
Natural consequences for those with FASD can be devastating and will leave a parent or caregiver with many a sleepless night. A life of interdependence is what our young people truly need. Support through the “firsts” coaching and person-centered planning can be helpful.
Red Shoes Rock 