FEAR: Jobs – Get One and Keep One

Surviving the 9-to-5 or 3 to 11 or over night Jungle:
An FASD Adventure

Welcome, fellow FASD warriors, to the wild world of employment! Buckle up, because we’re about to embark on a thrilling journey through the retail, fast-food, hospitality, corporate jungle, where the coffee is strong, the meetings can be long, the customer is always right, and the photocopier is always jammed.

Fear not, for I come bearing the sacred scrolls of job-keeping wisdom.

Let’s dive in!

Embrace Your Inner Superhero

You’ve got superpowers, my friend. Maybe you can’t fly, but you can hyperfocus like nobody’s business:

• Find your kryptonite-free zone and showcase those talents.
• Convince your boss you’re the office’s secret weapon (cape optional).
• Remember, with great power comes great employability!

Tame the Chaos Beast

Structure is your new best friend (sorry, Netflix):

• Create a schedule so detailed it would make a military general weep.
• Plaster your workspace with more sticky notes than a conspiracy theorist’s cork board.
• Set alarms for everything. Even breathing, if necessary.

Negotiate Like a Boss

Time to channel your inner smooth-talker:

• Ask for accommodations like you’re haggling at a flea market.
• Request a quiet workspace. Bonus points if it comes with a hammock.
• Flexible hours? More like “I’m not a morning person” hours.

Master the Art of Human Interaction

Communication: it’s like a game of telephone, but with higher stakes:

• Listen actively, nod wisely, and pray you didn’t miss anything important.
• When in doubt, send an email. It’s like a paper trail, but less messy.
• Honesty is the best policy, unless you’re talking about your boss’s hairpiece.

Emotional Rollercoaster Management

Workplace drama: not just for soap operas anymore:

• Deep breaths are your new superpower. Use them liberally.
• Find your calm in the midst of chaos. The supply closet works in a pinch.
• Consider therapy. It’s like having a personal cheerleader, minus the pom-poms.

Become a Learning Machine

Knowledge is power, and power is… well, more knowledge:

• Attend every training session. Free snacks are a bonus.
• Embrace feedback like a warm hug from a slightly critical aunt.
• Stay hip with the latest trends. TikTok dances optional.

Build Your Work Family

It takes a village to raise an employee:

• Make friends with the IT guy. Trust me on this one.
• Find a mentor who can guide you through the office politics minefield.
• Keep your real family on speed dial for those “I can’t adult today” moments.

Self-Advocacy: The Art of Polite Persistence

Stand up for yourself, but maybe don’t flip any tables:

• Educate your employer about FASD. PowerPoint presentations encouraged.
• Negotiate accommodations like you’re brokering world peace.
• If all else fails, bring cupcakes. Everyone loves the cupcake person.

Remember, FASD adventurer, the workplace may be a jungle, but you’re the intrepid explorer ready to conquer it. With these tips and a healthy dose of humor, you’ll be swinging from the work vines in no time.

Now go forth and prosper – or at least try not to set anything on fire. And remember, pay attention to WHAT YOU LEARN for the next time!

Good luck!