Navigating Relationships: A Guide for Teens and Young Adults with FASD
Hey! If you’re a teen or young adult with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), you might sometimes feel like relationships are extra tricky. You’re not alone in this, and there are reasons why you might find yourself in situations or with people that aren’t great for you. I was in the top tier of boy crazy wild when I was younger and it got me into places I NEVER WANTED TO BE!
Let’s talk about why this happens and what you can do about it.
How Come It Happens
- You’re Awesome and Want to Connect
Just like everyone else, you want to make friends and have relationships. This is totally normal and great! Sometimes, though, this desire to connect can lead to rushing into friendships or relationships without taking time to really know the person. - Reading People Can Be Tough
FASD can make it harder to pick up on social cues or understand when someone might not have the best intentions. It’s like trying to read a book in a language you’re still learning. - Decisions Can Feel Rushed
Sometimes your brain might make decisions super fast without thinking things through. This is called impulsivity, and it’s common with FASD. - You’re More Trusting
Being trusting is a wonderful quality, but sometimes it means you might not see when someone is taking advantage of your kindness. - Fitting In Feels Important
You might worry about fitting in or being accepted, which could lead to saying yes to things or people you’re not completely comfortable with.
What You Can Do
- Take It Slow
Give yourself time to get to know people before deciding if they’re good friend material. It’s okay to take your time! - Trust Your Gut
If something feels off about a person or situation, listen to that feeling. Your instincts are there to protect you. - Talk to Someone You Trust
Find a family member, teacher, or counselor you trust and talk to them about your relationships. They can offer a different perspective and help you spot any red flags. - Learn About Healthy Relationships
Educate yourself on what makes a relationship healthy. This goes for friendships and romantic relationships. Knowledge is power! - Practice Saying No
It’s okay to say no to things you’re not comfortable with. Practice saying no in a mirror or with a trusted friend or family member. - Build Your Self-Esteem
Remember that you are valuable and deserving of respect. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. - Find Your Crew
Look for groups or clubs related to your interests. You’re more likely to meet like-minded people who share your values. - Use the PAUSE Method
When you’re in a tricky situation, try PAUSE:
- P: Put on the brakes
- A: Ask yourself what’s really going on
- U: Use your support system
- S: See the bigger picture
- E: Evaluate your choices
- Create a Safety Plan
Have a plan for getting out of uncomfortable situations. This could include a code word you can text a family member if you need help. - Be Kind to Yourself
If you do find yourself in a not-so-great relationship, don’t beat yourself up. Learn from it, and move forward.
Having FASD means your brain works a bit differently, but it doesn’t define you. You have the power to make good choices and build positive relationships. It might take a bit more practice and support, but you’ve got this! If you ever feel unsafe or need help, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted adult or call a helpline. Your safety and happiness matter. You’re on an amazing journey of growth and self-discovery. Embrace it, learn from it, and know that there are people rooting for you every step of the way!
TODAY’S NOTE: “My first relationships were all pretty boys… and I was boy crazy… Want the nitty gritty check out Braided Cord Tough Times in and out. – In Solidarity, Liz“
Red Shoes Rock 