I C.A.R.E.: Observation Begins with You

I have walked through appointment after appointment where I have been dismissed thinking I am unable to understand. If it is the first time I am meeting you my brain must process many pieces. I must gather data in a way foreign to many. In the beginning of my medical journey I talked my way through understand… the interpretation was I was anxious. Sorry, I was gathering my data, I needed to know about your room, figure out a language I do not speak – medical. Meet a stranger – YOU. Process and listen to everything you say. WAIT WAIT and more WAIT until you are ready – yet I must remain compliant.

Here are some non-verbal cues YOU CAN pay attention to in order to avoid misunderstandings in healthcare communication:

1. Body language: Observe posture, gestures, and overall body positioning. Open and relaxed body language generally indicates receptiveness, while closed-off postures may signal discomfort or disagreement.
2. Facial expressions: Pay close attention to facial expressions, as they often reveal underlying emotions that may not be expressed verbally.
3. Eye contact: Maintaining appropriate eye contact can indicate engagement and attentiveness. Lack of eye contact might suggest discomfort or dishonesty. Or in the past months for me, I do not trust what medical people are saying, and I zone out and now fall asleep. I no longer have the energy to participant.
4. Tone of voice: Listen for changes in pitch, volume, and speed of speech, as these can convey emotions and attitudes beyond the words being spoken.
5. Physical proximity: Notice how close or far family members position themselves during interactions, as this can indicate comfort levels and emotional closeness.
6. Touch: Appropriate physical contact, like a gentle touch on the arm, can convey support and empathy from a caregiver or friend.
7. Gestures: Pay attention to hand movements and other gestures that may emphasize or contradict spoken words.
8. Timing and pacing: Notice pauses, interruptions, or changes in the rhythm of conversation, as these can indicate emotional responses or discomfort with certain topics.

To avoid misunderstandings:

1. Be aware of your own non-verbal cues and ensure they match your intended message.
2. Observe others’ non-verbal signals and look for consistency with their verbal communication.
3. When unsure, ask for clarification to confirm your interpretation of non-verbal cues.
4. Practice active listening, which includes paying attention to both verbal and non-verbal communication.

To help bridge your understanding with compliance on my part:

1. Pay attention and TELL ME what I am doing right – I will keep doing that for myself and you. Smile at me. Look me in the eye. Be a NORMAL person when you do this.
2. Give a list one ONE THING I must work on next
3. Give a list of TWO THINGS I need to try to work on
4. Set up my next appointment and SAY – I am excited to see what you can do. I believe in you.

For persons with FASD:

Bring a friend – my mom is my cognitive translator.

Here is what Mom does for me:

• Takes notes and listens to professionals
• Highlights new language
• Writes to medical people
• Bridges my understanding with yours
• Researching other things that can help me get better
• Encourages me with hope and love
• Figures things out in ways I can do them

By being attentive to these non-verbal cues, medical professionals can enhance their understanding and reduce the likelihood of misinterpretations in their communication.